Out of Time

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Today I ran out of time with a person I considered my “second mother”. She lost her battle with lung cancer last night.  I have fond memories of hanging out with her in her Upper East side apartment in Manhattan when I first moved to the US. Just her and I. Usually on a Saturday, we would talk, have dinner that she had spent all day preparing, watch TV, talk some more and then I would leave, not just well fed but a little wiser. As I was heading out, she would always ask me what I wanted her to prepare for me next time.

She always insisted on sitting at her dinner table, using her best silverware and doing everything herself – even back then, over 7 years ago, she would run out of breath easily. At that time, she thought she had allergies. I last saw her in Miami in 2009, by then she needed portable oxygen to even walk around the apartment but she still had not been diagnosed with lung cancer. The last time I spoke with her was this August. She told me her cancer was not responding to chemo and that I should come and see her soon as she did not feel she had much time. Since she had said that to me before, I did not want to believe her.

Aunt Fannie lived a full, unapologetic life. God blessed her with considerable wealth and although she did not suffer fools gladly, she had a big heart. I will miss her. Her daughter told me today that Aunty Fannie really loved me.  She always told me she loved me when she would sign off on the phone, I did not realize she also told others. As with my mother, I ran out of time with Aunt Fannie way too soon. At some point, we will all run out of time with our loved ones.

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot” Ecc 3 v 1-2

 

Little River

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Over the 4th of July break, I decided to visit Mendocino with a friend (see earlier post). The cottage we stayed at was directly in front of a secluded path to the beach. On the way down to the beach, I twisted my ankle. Using my tripod as a walking stick, I hobbled down the path and hacked my way through the undergrowth. As my friend and I emerged, we startled a couple walking their dog on a beach that looked pristine. For a moment I forgot all about my ankle. I set up and fired off a few shots, hoping to convey a sense of isolation.
Little River

Catfish

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Yesterday, I caught half of a documentary on HBO about the risks of online dating. The movie was called “Catfish“. During the movie, someone mentions how catfish are used to keep cod healthy during long ocean voyages. Basically catfish and cod are enemies and by adding catfish to the mix, the cod are keep healthy as they try to avoid their enemy.

This morning, Joel Osteen preached about this exact story. Since I do not believe in coincidences, I am trying to work out what I am being told.

If I take the message generally, then all the challenges/obstacles I am currently working through, are here to make me stronger, more loving and healthier. On a deeper level, I guess the message is that people I consider to be against me (or that I do not get along with) are in fact here for my benefit and are worthy of my respect, further consideration and love.

Now I just need to go out and practice it……

Bay Bridge from Treasure Island

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I took this picture during a late night workshop. It involved walking carefully in single file over crumbling concrete on the side of a cliff and standing precariously over a thin ledge being jostled by other students with tripods etc. One missed step and you could end up falling over the cliff into the bay. It’s not a shot I am planning to repeat. So enjoy!

Bay Bridge from Angel Island

The Day I Lost My D90 (Part 2)

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Here are the final pictures from that fateful day. Everyone was over by the rocks, I was at the water’s edge. Story of my life!

I set up a little away from the waves first. My best picture from that series (processed in LR3) is shown below.

Rodeo Beach - D90 Arrival

It all seemed to be going well and so I decided to move right into the waves. After about 15 shots, a rogue wave came along, I turned around to avoid it, even though I was already soaked up to my knees. It took a split second and as I turned back, I saw my tripod tip over in slow motion. The sand and water engulfed the camera instantly. All I heard was the motor whirling aimlessly, like a heart beating pointlessly outside the body.

Then embarrassment settled in, I felt like everyone in the class was judging me and thought I saw one of the students shake her head in pity. The walk back to the car was all about shame. By the time I started driving, all I cared about was that the images would be alright. I had already given up on the camera, the motor was still whirling but with less vigor. It was slowly dying in the back seat of my car.

Well here it is, the last shot with my D90.

Rodeo Beach - D90 Last Shot

I prefer the first set of pictures I took before I stepped into the waves. Sometimes you just need to know when to stop.

See Part 1 here